Over the Edge
by Fallingarcher22
Summary: Ash has all but given up after losing another leauge, but after deciding to do something terrible, who can help him. A story for my cousin.


Well guys today is my bday, but I'm a little sad. I don't care if anything is wrong with the writing today, so please no commenting if there are mistakes. This is just something I needed to write. Feel free to review though.

Over the edge

"Pikachu is unable to battle and the winner of this battle and this years tournament is..."

The rest of the referees words became incoherent, along with the sounds of the roaring crowd. It didn't matter anymore, at that moment I simply didn't care. Without a word I walked over to Pikachu and picked him up. Grabbing my bag I carefully slung it over my shoulder and walked out the exit, Pikachu cradled in my arms. I didn't say a single word to my opponent. No "good job!" Or "That was a great battle". Not even a handshake of good sportsmanship.

I walked to the Pokemon center alone. The automatic doors opened as I stepped through into the Pokemon center. There like always was a Nurse Joy ready to ask if I needed anything.

" I would like to have my Pokemon healed please" I ask in a almost inaudible voice. "And a room I can stay the night in"

I set my 5 Pokeballs on the metal tray along with Pikachu. Nurse joy handed them to Audino and it took them into the back of the Pokemon center. Nurse joy opened a desk drawer and handed me a key card.

"Your room is down the hallway to the left" She said "I'll call you over the speaker when your Pokemon are ready."

I nodded and walked away without saying another word. I made my way down the plain hallway, coming to my room right where Nurse Joy said it would be. I swiped the card and pushed the door open. Inside was the same old thing I had seen thousands of times. A plain room with a bed, nightstand, a small dresser, and a bathroom.

I took my bag off my back and threw it onto the dresser without a care. I took off my jacket leaving only my black undershirt, and resigned myself to the bed. I laid there staring at the ceiling.

'Why do I still do this anymore? Why do I even try? Even after what? 8 years and I have still yet to win in a league tournament.' I wondered

Usually I was mopey when I lost a league, but I couldn't help but feel this time was different. Now, I just didn't care. I didn't want to try another league. I didn't want to return home. I didn't want to talk to my friends. I wanted nothing but to be alone. I got up and went to the window that just so happened to look towards the stadium. Fireworks were going off, they were probably doing the awards ceremony. Like always I would get an award whether it was top 8, top 4, or even this time 2nd. I had enough of those worthless trinkets at home. Each one screamed at me that I lost, wasn't good enough, or was a failure. Yet mom always put them on the mantle anyways, claiming them to be "great accomplishments". Yea right, what mother wants a child that is always second rate.

Amidst my thoughts a loud knock came from my door.

"Ash Ketchum! You better get out here! You missed the closing ceremonies!" Yelled Misty.

'Great just when I wanted to be alone. Misty just had to show up!'

Misty decided to come to watch the league in person this year. Usually like all my friends, they would watch my matches on TV and call me later to "congratulate" me. Usually I would be touched, but right now I found her more annoying than anything. Without even thinking, I opened the window and climbed out leaving Misty to bang on the door.

The grass flattened under my feet as I walked up a hill that overlooked a nearby lake. I walked up to the edge and sat down, feet dangling about 70 feet above the rocky shore below. It was peaceful here. Nothing but the setting sun and the waves of the lake coming onto the shore. I glance down to the ground below, and a weird thought came to my head. What if I just leaned forward and fell? I wouldn't have to worry about anything would I? No more worrying what people think about me, no more saving the world scenarios, and no chance at failing if I wasn't alive.

This only made it more appetizing to me. I leaned forward, not much, but a little more. No more feeling sad, I lean a little more. No more loosing, a little more and I start to feel a little off balance. Finally no more dissapointment. With that I start leaning even more knowing any further and i would be a freefall to the ground.

"PIKA-PI! (ASH!)" Yells a frantic Pikachu.

I couldn't bring myself to lean the rest of the way off in front of Pikachu. So I sat back up and laid on my back and Pikachu ran over.

(What the heck are you doing! You could have fallen off you nitwit!")

I look at Pikachu who notices my sad eyes.

"I know Pikachu" I say flatly "I think I'm done training you know... Time to say goodbye"

Pikachus jaw dropped.

("So your solution is just to throw yourself off the edge! What about becoming a Pokemon master, your friends, and your mom!? What about me!?") Pikachu says tears building in his eyes.

" I'm sorry Pikachu, but I'm just so... tired. Tired of failing, and just not being good enough. Tired of letting all of letting all of you down. You all can do so much better without me... I mean..."

I couldn't finish my sentence because out of nowhere thousands of volts were making their way through my body. It stopped almost as soon as it started, I look over to see a Pikachu seething in anger.

("So your giving up then?") Asks Pikachu

All I could do was stare at Pikachu.

("Even after all we have been through? Saving the world, battling legendaries, meeting new friends, defeating our rivals. Do these things mean nothing to you!? You nearly die saving people, willingly putting yourself in harms way, but now you just want to commit suicide! And over what, the fact you haven't won a league yet!? You are my best friend in the whole world, I thought we were like brothers!") Pikachu yelled ("but I guess not" ) Pikachu spat, facing his back to me folding his paws. ("If you want to jump then just do it already! Not like you care about us anyways!"). With those last words Pikachus ears dropped and he started to sob.

I was shocked. I realize that I'm the one that is making Pikachu feel like this. I would always love my Pokemon, it never wanted to hurt them!

With that, things started to click back into place. My friends and family would always love me no matter what! Even if I never won a league. Even if I never became a Pokemon Master, my Pokemon would all still love me and fight their very best. I never imagined how anyone else would feel if I died.

I nearly made the biggest mistake of my life.

I sat up slowly and dragged myself over to Pikachu. I picked up my crying Pikachu and pull him in for a tight hug. Both of us never wanting to let go of the other. I felt tears going down my cheeks as well, and realized I was crying too.

" I'm sorry I scared you Pikachu." I whispered "I promise I will never do this again. You will always be my best friend and brother. I love you Pikachu."

("I love you to Pika-Pi")

As the two finished their emotional reunion, they both got up and headed back to the Pokemon center. No one had to know about tonights events, but because of it, Ash and Pikachu would have a bond that would last a lifetime. And Ash realized that life is important, and even if we think no one cares, someone is always there to love you, and will support you no matter what.

Love, especially love from parents and friends is unconditional. They will love you through thick and thin never giving up.

This story is for my cousin who recently committed suicide. Sadly today is my birthday, but also hers as well (we shared the same day). She would have been 20.

If you ever feel alone, please try to find at least a friend to talk to. Your life is worth more that 1000x your weight in solid gold with embedded diamond's.


End file.
